Coffee Shop Hazards
by Pumadelic
Summary: Tonks is as clumsy as she is determined. Remus is having cake therapy after a bad transformation. Pre POA, slightly Au, Tonks and lupin in a boho coffee shop in the rain.
1. Chapter 1

**Coffee Shop Hazards**

It had been three nights ago, the full moon, but Remus still felt a burning ache in all his limbs and his new scars itched terribly. On days like these, a suppressed yearning emerged; for Sirius' wild laugh and mischievous grey eyes; for James' blokey, heartfelt phrases of reassurance; for Lily's tacit understanding.

He only knew one surefire remedy for his current, piteous mental state: Eleni Mesmer. The lady herself was now in her sixties, a bohemian artist, now settled with her third husband. Eleni was a muggle, who'd given birth to and raised a wizard son as a single parent. Dumbledore had seen to it that the boy attended Hogwarts and little Jerome grew up to become a famous, successful and wealthy Quidditch player. In her gratitude, she set up a café for wizards on low income and served them food and drink that wouldn't shame establishments with triple the price tag of her own. Her coffee was legendary as was her cake trolley.

The café was tucked into a little alley behind Holborn Tube station. It's heavily carved wooden tables, cosy booths and tablecloths adorned with birds and flowers in primary hues would not have seemed out of place in turn of the century Budapest. The almost louche frills on the lace curtains always made Remus grin. As he went in, he noticed that there were currently few other customers, an elderly wizard in torn robes, and a pair of skinny teenagers, probably students.

He ordered a large black filter coffee and surveyed the cake trolley. A chocolate ganache sponge gleamed enticingly in the middle of white Italianate columns of mille feuille and luscious strawberry and forest fruit cheesecakes.

'A large slice of the ganache, please.' Remus smiled courteously at Eleni's newest assistant. The girl, probably an art student, had dyed jet black hair and sported heavy black eyeliner.

'I'll bring it over.'

The girl's smile was perky. She had a sharp, elfin face that would wear sarcasm and contempt well yet she was being very friendly. Although Remus knew they were used to shabbily dressed men at Le Poisson Rouge, he always felt embarrassed by the sorry figure he probably cut, with his lanky limbs, prematurely greying hair, his scars and his stained mackintosh. Eleni only employed girls and they were all so young and vibrant.

'Thank you. I'll be over there.' He indicated a table to the left side.

Once sat down, he brought a hardback out of his canvas satchel. He'd held down a part-time day job at a muggle bookshop for the past few months, managing to schedule days off for the full moon but it didn't pay much. To supplement his income he was writing reviews for a muggle newspaper under the name of his friend, Richard Castle, a best selling author. Richard found the reviewing tedious so he'd passed it on to Remus as a favour. He'd assumed that Lupin was gay, like himself and that the condition he suffered from was stigmatised. Remus felt a mild guilt at the deception. He could just imagine Richard's elegant face crumpling into confusion if he even attempted to tell him the truth.

The book in front of him was a lyrical novella about a man who might or might not be a ghost visiting his hometown friends, loves and enemies. Remus had found it gripping from the start. It would be a pleasure to do it justice in the review. He was absorbed in the protaganist's encounter with his first girlfriend when the café door banged open and a customer hurtled inside.

'Merlin's beard, it's a swimming pool out there!'

Remus did not look up from the book. He had noticed the advent of the rain, rhythmic, relentless, a sonic melody adding to his sense of cocoon like comfort in the café.

'Tonks! I didn't expect you so early – I'm still on shift? Do you fancy a brew while you wait?'

The raven haired assistant was a down to earth Northern lass at heart. Remus smiled as he took a sip of his own wonderfully flavourful coffee. He glanced up briefly and saw a flash of lurid pink hair and a quirky heart shaped face. Probably another art student. It wouldn't do to gawp. He looked back down at the page. This scene was really beautifully written.

The girl called Tonks strode down the middle of the café swinging her rucksack. As she neared Lupin's table, she stumbled and the bag went flying. It landed squarely on top of the half remains of the ganache and sent the coffee flying to the floor. The cup, a sturdy china mug, bounced heartily. All Eleni's crockery was charmed not to break.

Lupin sighed and put down the book.

The girl was staring at her cake-infested rucksack with a look that oddly mingled amusement and despair.

'I'm so sorry. I'm the biggest klutz in the cosmos.'

Her eyes were a darkish petrol blue, large and round to almond shape. Her fleshy nose flared slightly at the tip and her lips curved in a bow. She was wearing purple eyeshadow and had a delicate silver nose-ring. Her t shirt depicted an emaciated guitarist and bore the legend 'Weird sisters.' Slim, strong legs were engaged in bright green jeans.

Remus was irritated. He was also curious. Something about her did not suggest art student in spite of the undergraduate get-up.

'Perhaps, not in the cosmos. That is rather large and unknowable,' he remarked drily, hoping to lighten the mood with a joke.

'Are you taking the piss?' she asked. 'I am really sorry.'

Now she looked quite upset. Those expressive eyes were slightly moist. She bit her full lips.

'No, I didn't mean to take the…I mean that was my fuddy duddy attempt at humour. I'm afraid your rucksack has eaten the rest of my cake. It will need a good wash. It's ok. I can get a replacement.'

She frowned.

'For my rucksack? I'm not worried about that. I'm glad you didn't get hot coffee all over you. I really am dangerous at times.'

Remus smiled at her. She was earnest and rather amusing. And cute. No, he didn't just think that. She couldn't be more than eighteen. He may have a seedy raincoat but he wasn't the sort to leer at girls far too young for him.

'I meant I can buy another coffee and cake, actually.'

He handed her the rucksack.

The assistant came over.

'Oh, Tonksie, love. Up to your old tricks. I'll give that a wash down in the back.'

'Can I have another order of the same?' Remus asked, still impeccably polite.

'I'm paying for it,' Tonks announced.

'No, you don't have to.'

'Yes, I do.'

'Well it isn't necessary.'

'I want to. I ruined your tea.'

'Well…it really isn't…alright,if you insist.'

Remus was quite unused to people forcing chivalry on him. The girl had such a forceful way with her and he could tell she wanted to feel better about the display she had made. He might be in post transformation mode but it would be churlish to reject a simple act of generosity.

Tonks waltzed over to the assistant and handed over some cash. She then strolled back to the table and sat down opposite Remus.

She held out her hand.

'Since we're on coffee spilling acquaintance I should introduce myself – I'm Tonks.'

He hesitated for a split second and then took hold of her fingers, which were surprisingly warm and soft, free of jagged gothic rings.

'Remus Lupin.'

She pumped his hand up and down, which seemed rather surreal.

'That's all latiny. It suits you. So, Remus. Do you mind if I sit with you while I wait for Elsa to finish her shift?'

Remus gulped. 'Um….I….er.'

He was very afraid he might be blushing. What did this peculiar girl want with him? Why couldn't a shabby old lycanthrope go to his favourite café, eat his favourite cake and read without being accosted.

'Oh Merlin – I'm annoying you. Please, carry on with your reading. I don't know what I was thinking – told you I was a klutz.'

Tonks jumped up and eyed the options. A sudden slew of elderly couples had taken most of the remaining tables.

Remus smiled. She was quite sweet and it wasn't as if he didn't have plenty of time to finish the book.

'It's fine. Please stay. You're not annoying me. Actually I just wondered why you'd want to sit with me. They get a lot of the young, dashing up and coming artists in here.'

She snorted.

'Yeah. And they all think they're Merlin's gift. One of them called me a fascist because I'm an Auror.'

Remus blinked. This quirky waif was an auror?

'Auror in training.' She smiled at him. It was a very young, very proud smile. It produced an odd sweet sensation in his chest region.

'Well, that's quite an achievement for one so young..'

'Nearly nineteen. My steath and tracking's crap as you can imagine but my magic's strong and I can do this.'

Her hair changed from pink spikes to turquoise ringlets and her eyes were now inky black pools.

'You're a metamorphmagus!'

'Yeah. I wonder if it's what makes me clumsy. Like I have no real shape, you know? '

The assistant arrived with two coffees and two slices of the chocolate cake.

'Give Remus the bigger one, Elsa.' Tonks ordered.

Elsa tutted but duly gave Remus the slightly bigger brown rectangle.

'First name terms I see,' she said, swatting Tonks on the arm.

Tonks batted her away. She looked faintly flushed.

Remus was puzzled.

'I would have offered you some of my cake you know,' he said.

'Which would have been very gentlemanly of you in the circumstances. I'm not one of those girls who pretends to not eat cake then eats all of her boy…all of someone else's.'

Tonks was indeed scooping up a largish blob of the gooey heavenly mess.

When she had consumed it, she asked, 'Why were you surprised I wanted to sit with you?'

Remus choked slightly on his coffee.

'You ok?'

He nodded and cleared his throat.

'Fashionable young teenagers don't usually want to hang out with dishevelled boring, old…book reviewers.'

Tonks looked at his shirt and tie.

'You're not dishevelled. Or old. I know you have grey hair but you're not that old really, are you? And book reviewing isn't boring, it's cool. I may not look the part but I love books. Book nut here.'

Remus raised a sardonic eyebrow. He was at a loss. She was so open and frank. He was very flattered and felt compelled to hide it.

'I merely meant older than you. By a generation. For instance, what books do you like? Books by angry young punk rockstars?'

Tonks shook her head.

'No, grandpa,' she said 'I prefer classics. Muggle and wizard classics. Some fantasy, yes. That old Tolkien bloke. Poetry. I love poetry. William Blake is banging.'

Remus couldn't help it. He laughed heartily and spluttered some of his coffee. One of the elderly couples looked around and tutted.

'William Blake is indeed, banging, I would agree. If I knew what banging meant.'

Tonks had a mischievous expression.

'Oh you've guessed what it means. You can't hide your intelligence, Remus Lupin. There's a gleam in those eyes of yours…'

'That's probably incipient cataracts.'

'You like feeling sorry for yourself, don't you?'

Tonks paused to slurp some more cake and looked up.

Remus paled at this. His polite smile did not succeed in concealing his unease.

'It was another sorry attempt at humour. I admit I've not been at my best these past few days.'

Tonks put her slightly stubby warm hand on his and gave him a brief soothing pat. He almost jumped out of his seat.

'That sounded horrible. I didn't mean it like that. All I meant was…I think you're essentially a sophisticated, charming, intelligent bloke. You're not a stuffed shirt…you're just feel safer pretending to be one.'

She coloured a little and took a sip of her coffee.

'Whoops –sorry about the pretending to be a stuffed shirt bit.'

Remus tilted his head.

'Well obviously I'd have to pretend otherwise there would be endless hordes of fashionable young girls queuing up to douse me in cake…'

She was regarding him with a quizzical expression.

'Would it surprise you to know that Elsa thinks you're tremendously hot?'

'it wouldn't surprise me: I would be astonished. She's only served me twice.'

Tonks grinned.

'Elsa likes a thoughtful bookish man. She says you have kind, sensitive eyes and a beautiful voice and a killer smile. I may add she's in love with her boyfriend so don't think you're in or anything. And she would probably kill me for telling you all that.'

He shrugged. 'Isn't there something a little queasy about the older man younger girl trope anyway? Why do people assume that men crave young flesh?'

Tonks made a moue.

'Loads of men like older women too. It's the experience thing , isn't it? Not just physical. So you only date women your own age?'

'I don't date Tonks. I work in a bookshop, struggle to pay my rent and I review books pretending to be someone else. I'm not the world's most employable and women like prospects more than erudition. Not blaming them for that, by the way. Can we just talk about books, please? What's your favourite Blake poem? I love the Tiger and the one about the charity boys singing.'

'I like Auguries of Innocence. _A robin redbreast in a cage puts all of nature in a rage._ But why don't you date? And why aren't you employable? You could do anything you liked.'

Tonks was frowning, her arms crossed.

Remus sighed.

'I have a…a condition. I'm not well enough to work all the time and employers don't like that. '

He drained his coffee and pushed aside his cake plate.

Tonks went pale as Remus pushed back his chair.

'I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to interrogate you like that. This bloody auror training.'

He was standing up.

She reached out and touched his arm.

'Please don't be angry with me…I'm like a big kid sometimes. I ask all these questions.'

She was blushing and picking at a purple fingernail.

'I like you. I'd like to see you again. I've been insensitive today but now I know about your condition….' She dropped her voice.

'The scars. It was the full moon three days ago. You are really intelligent but you say you're unemployable. I think I know what condition you're talking about. I am so sorry for having interrupted your cheer up ritual. I am a complete idiot sometimes.'

She stood up, reached up on her toes and kissed him gently on the cheek.

'Please forgive me. We've met before. I looked different. I was on a case and I had to find a rare spell book in Mulligan's. You served me; you were brilliant, so kind and patient and knowledgeable. It took an hour to track down a copy. I wanted to meet you again, Remus. I described you to Elsa and she told me that you come in here, usually early in the month.'

Remus was staring at her.

'You were the old lady who wanted that banned Aleister Crowley spell book?'

'Yep. I thought the Somerset accent was good.'

'it was. You're good.'

He sat down, nearly missing the chair. He was starting to wonder if Elsa had put something hallucinogenic in the coffee.

'So you've been hoping to find me? Why didn't you come into the bookshop and just talk to me?'

'I was on a case. It's not allowed. Remus, it sounds naff but I was thinking of starting a book club for wizards who also read muggle literature and I thought you'd help. I don't have much time off. I go to see the odd band and I go to pubs. I'd really like to have some people to talk to who see the point of reading. Maybe once every two months.'

He took another spoonful of cake.

'I could help you with that. But you're an auror – can you be seen in the company of…someone like me?'

'I'm not prejudiced. You're not on the dark side, that's obvious. The attitudes to…what you have…they're just ignorance.'

Remus smiled.

'I've never met anyone quite like you, Tonks.'

'A cake-hurling foot in the mouth type, you mean?'

'Now you're feeling sorry for yourself. Which I should be now I know you only want me for my book learning.'

She waggled her spoon at him.

'What else would you want me to want you for, Remus?'

'Nothing else, Nothing else at all. By the way, did Elsa really say all those things about me or were you just flattering me to further your nefarious book club plot?'

' _Elsa_ didn't say those things, no. But I wasn't buttering you up either.'

She was licking her spoon.

'Can you knock off the Lolita impersonation? You wouldn't do that in your reading circle, would you?'

'I don't know, Humbert…whoops, REMUS. It might be just right for some kind of book clubs. But I'm not planning that kind, never fear. '

'So did anyone say those ridiculous things about me?'

'Someone thinks those things about you. And they're not ridiculous. But I'm a good friend so I wouldn't tell you who it really was.'

She got up.

'Where are you going?'

'I think that we should share the last piece of that cake. It's a small one so don't protest.'

Remus watched Tonks bounce up to the counter and wondered if his blood pressure was going to return to normal within the next hour. What had he got himself into? He could feel his inner Marauder wriggling and stretching to be free. Outside the sky was igniting, a sunset as vivid and incongruous as the pink spikes surrounding his new friend's face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

 **Reading Circle**

It was the first meeting and there was quite an air of anticipation in the compact, cosy room. Remus had helped find the venue: a wizarding library which specialised in children's literature and needed more funds to keep going. Tonks had recruited by one advert in the university and also by word of mouth.

She looked around. There was Darla Norwick, who worked as a healer attending to students at the university. Darla was in her thirties, with a mane of thick black curly hair and large, sympathetic green eyes. Next to Darla was Roman Fortes, a distinguished man in his forties who lectured in Ancient Magic. Roman was flanked by twin sisters Lucette and Liliana Westerhouse. The twins had a musical double act. Tonks had gone to meet them after a performance, mentioned her reading circle in passing and both girls had been surprisingly enthusiastic about the idea. Elsa Greene from the coffee shop had also joined along with her art student boyfriend, Marley Hoopland.

Beside Marley, looking somewhat self conscious, was Florina Hoggs. Florina was a squib who had been employed as a cleaner by the letting agents for Tonks' flat. She was sixty five, a widow and completely self taught. Tonks and Florina had got on from the start and ,as the woman opened up about her life, Tonks had gained an insight into how poorly squibs had been treated in earlier years – Florina's family hadn't considered her worth educating and had married her off at the earliest opportunity. Fortunately, her squib husband had proved to be kind and decent: he'd encouraged and shared her love of learning. Their son, Daniel, turned out to possess magic and had gone to Hogwarts. Remus was seated next to Florina, chatting and putting her at her ease. He caught Tonks' eye and smiled warmly. Tonks grinned back. He knew she was a little nervous and was, subtly as usual, conveying that he had her back and everything would be alright. Of course, his smile had other effects too. Although they had met on several occasions since the coffee shop incident, Remus did not seem to have guessed the identity of the mystery woman who had described him as 'tremendously hot'. Tonks, with no natural gift for the subtle, had been talking about herself. His apparent obliviousness was becoming frustrating but she must concentrate on the matter in hand.

She continued her survey of the reading group. The librarian, Carvell Dockeridge, a wizard in his fifties and his intimidatingly bright assistant , Pandora Mulch, made up the penultimate pair. A young Ministry employee, Garson Butterfield, had cornered her the previous evening and pleaded with her to let him join. She'd seen him around before: a handsome featured and slightly conceited dandy from a renowned Wizarding clan, he was rumoured to be on the fast track to promotion to the highest office of Magical Regulation. Tonks intimated that he found her attractive but she was also concerned that he wanted to report back on the circle's activities. He had reassured her that he had recently developed a taste for muggle literature and saw nothing wrong at all with such a pursuit. He'd seemed genuine enough and his behaviour in person was less suave and arrogant than she expected. She'd admitted him to the reading club, hoping that she wouldn't have reason to regret it.

Garson was never short of female attention. She supposed part of her attraction for him was that she didn't fawn on him or, in fact, show any particular interest. He just wasn't her type. Normally Tonks liked rebellious, straight-talking, alternative wizards, preferably attached to a guitar and tattoos. That was before she had met a mild-mannered bookish gent with greying hair and a scarred, prematurely lined face. She had looked into gentle, acorn-coloured eyes and listened to a dry, ironic, melodious voice and found herself, after an hour in his company, a little, well, obsessed. She did not like this behaviour on her part. She had always despised women who hung around hoping to be noticed by the wizard of their dreams. Surely it was a waste of good living time. And now, here she was, desperately longing for the smallest attention from Remus Lupin. Thank Merlin he was worth it.

She looked at him as he talked to Florina. His kindness was never patronising: it came from a place of respect and understanding. It came from his own experience of struggle but he must always have had that empathetic nature. Not that it stopped him from indulging a sharp and wicked wit. Florina was laughing heartily at something he had said. Tonks envied her. She really needed to get a grip.

Tonks cleared her throat.

'Well this is everyone for tonight's meeting. First, I want to thank you all for joining. They may be others coming along next month – I'm getting quite a lot of interest from the university. My plan for this session is that we all nominate a book or books to read, explain our preferences and chose one for the next meeting. Hopefully we can get an interesting, varied list together. Any questions?'

Elsa raised her hand,

'What happens if someone chooses a book that I hate?'

Tonks laughed.

'Come along to the meeting and explain why you hate it – it will make for a lively discussion, won't it?'

Florina raised her hand, 'Will all the books be available from bookshops or libraries if it's muggle literature?'

Tonks nodded.

'There's a huge lending library of muggle literature in the Department of Muggle Studies at Hecanthus University in Bath. They've agreed to take orders. But Remus has been tracking down bookshops and second hand bookshops with large stocks of muggle literature so it shouldn't be a problem.'

Florina smiled in relief/ She didn't have a lot of money to spare on new books.

The others were looking at Tonks expectantly. Remus, a slight twinkle in his eye, raised his hand

'Miss Tonks, I took the liberty of preparing a nomination proforma – I have them in my satchel. Shall I hand them out now?'

He was so formal with her in public. There was a faint hint of teasing in the address that made her stomach flip. Of course, he had thought about the practicalities, damn him; he was so methodical and organised.

'Yes, MISTER Lupin, please do hand them round – that's an excellent idea.'

'Oh, call me Remus – I think we should all be on first name terms here.'

Garson observed the look Tonks gave the ageing werewolf and frowned.

'In that case it's Tonks, not Miss Tonks.'

Remus, half way around the circle with his handouts, paused and turned to face her,

'Tonks is not your first name, is it?'

'It is the only name I care to acknowledge…Remus.'

He grinned and completed the circle.

They picked up the pens and started writing. The list held a maximum of five.

'Shall we allow everyone fifteen minutes – is that long enough?' Remus asked smoothly, catching Tonks' eye. He had a way of winking without actually winking,

'What did we agree?…Tonks.'

'We agreed 10 to fifteen minutes would be good. Go with your instincts: don't over think it.'

They had not, in fact, discussed any timing. Tonks' impish grin told Remus that she counted it as a winning point that she had added an exhortation to impetuosity to his insistence on method.

Tonks looked down at her own list – he'd put down a numbered order of preference with a statement that if the choices were equal, this could be ignored. Her first three choices were easy but the last two caused some chewing of her pencil, to the extent that the rubber on the end whined at her querulously.

She checked her watch. The face in the middle stuck its tongue out at her. She restrained herself from reciprocating.

'Ok, book lovers. Time's up. Who wants to talk about their first choice?'

Elsa shrugged and waved her purple-nailed hand.

Tonks smiled. She got a lot of teasing from Elsa but she was a loyal friend.

'I narrowed it down. I've got The Great Gatsby by Scott Fitzgerald – it's beautiful and sad and a warning to poseurs like me.'

'You're not a poseur!' Marley protested.

Elsa winked at him. 'Yes I am. No- everyone should read Gatsby at least once – the best doomed love affair ever and the way he captures the excitement and the squalor of parties…'

'I think he may have gone to one or two,' Remus remarked blandly.

'You've come out of your shell, haven't you? I wonder who's responsible for that?' Elsa arched her brows at Tonks. Remus reddened faintly.

'What's yours, Remus?' Florina asked, noticing his embarrassment.

'My first choice is The Go-Between by L R Hartley. A young boy loses his innocence as a result of being exposed to a love triangle while staying at a friend's house. But it's about a lot of things – the British muggle class system, secrets, taboos, the gulf between children and adults. It's wonderfully written.'

Tonks was staring at him.

'That's fourth on my list.' She said softly.

Remus held her gaze, now oblivious to the curiosity this interchange was engendering among the others.

'There's a muggle saying, I believe: 'Great…'

'minds think alike.' Tonks finished.

'Go on Tonks, ' Elsa prompted. 'What's first on your list – maybe it will also be on someone else's?'

'Well I've got a modern novel actually. 'The House of Sleep' by Jonathan Coe. It's a drama-comedy set partly in a sleep clinic. Hard to describe: fantastic, sympathetic characters, brilliant use of flashbacks. It's atmospheric and poignant and absolutely hilarious.'

Elsa looked around. 'Anyone else got that one?'

Remus coughed.

'I read it last month. I did think about it for number five but it was just edged out. I agree with Tonks: it is, pardon the pun, quite magical.'

Now both Marley and Elsa were grinning in unison and Florina was smiling happily.

'Can I read mine out, please?' Florina asked.

Tonks nodded, She didn't trust herself to speak. She was imagining a book circle of two, Remus sandwiched with her on her cat-shredded velvet sofa, discussing his favourite character from the Coe novel.

'I've chosen Jane Eyre – not a very original choice for muggle literature. My husband always said that some things are celebrated for a reason. Charlotte Bronte has created one of the best female characters ever . It's a romance, a horror story, a story about bullying and hypocrisy and being true to yourself. I've read it so many times, I could recite some of it.'

Carvell raised his hand.

'It's first on my list too.'

'Well, fancy that - I didn't think wizards would like it as much as witches!' Florina was delighted.

'Remus' smile was wry.

'It's third on my list actually. But then I've never been a he-wizard.'

Elsa's green eyes scintillitated as she asked,

'Who else has Jane Eyre on their list?'

Tonks, somewhat flushed, said,

'It's my second choice.'

Both Westerhouse sisters raised their hands.

Tonks announced,

'Well, as it is such a popular book, we could start with that. Any objections?'

Garson raised his hand.

'I thought we were going to vote. My first choice is Jekyll and Hyde. A fine morality tale about a hypocritical, virtuous doctor who is deluded enough to think that he can hide his dark side and sins away under a cover of polite civilisation.'

He was eyeing Remus as he spoke. He continued,

'Considering there are still so many dark creatures among us, I think it would be a great choice for our second novel to read. What do you think, Remus: seems that you have a lot of influence here?'

Remus was sitting very still. He answered mildly.

'Yes we should take a vote once we have heard all the first choices'

'What did you choose, Pandora?' Tonks asked, turning away from Garson.

'Mine is another twentieth century novel, To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. It is one of the novels which invented the idea of looking inside a character's mind and telling the story from a subjective point of view.'

'Stream of consciousness,' Florina said, a little shy.

'Yes, ' Pandora said. 'It's very poetic and you become very involved with the characters.

Marley raised his hand

'Mine is 1984 by George Orwell, a classic psychological study of dictatorship. '

The normally easy going Marley glanced over at Garson and said, an edge to his voice;

'It describes how a government can become torturers and censor all kinds of thoughts and feelings.'

'I thought Orwell was a terrorist,' Garson commented.

Marley grimaced.

'You thought wrong. He was a man of peace.'

Darla raised her hand.

'My first choice is Crime and Punishment by Doestevsky. A gripping study of a young man descending into chaos as a result of poverty and family pressure. I really think that it is the most exciting novel ever written by a muggle and it has real depth of characterisation.'

Carvell nodded.

'That's second on my list.'

Remus smiled.

'It's on my list too.'

Roman raised his hand.

'My first choice is Hard Times by Dickens. But I do like the Brontes . Everything on my list is from the Victorian era'

'Ok. ' Tonks said, her voice hard, 'Let's have a vote. How many of us would be happy to start with Jane Eyre?'

Carvell, the Westerhouse sisters, Remus, Tonks, Marley, Roman and Florina raised their hands.

'It's settled then. The book for the next meeting is Jane Eyre. Owl me if you have any difficulty getting hold of a copy. Meanwhile let's talk about the rest of our choices. '

A discussion of Crime and Punishment ensued with some fierce debate on Raskolnikov – hero or villain or anti-hero? As the discussion was waning, Garson, who had been in a taciturn sulk, suddenly announced,

'Of course, Dostoevsky's morality was twisted: he was a werewolf, a dark creature.'

'Pardon me, ' Carvell said, his mouth a rictus of surprise.

'That,' Elsa said, 'is a right load of niffler bits. '

'He claimed he had epilepsy to cover for his transformations: I know the grandson of a wizard who knew old Fyodor. What a phony!'

Remus, a tad pale, but smiling, said 'I do believe you have been misled, Garson.'

Garson imitated Remus, 'I do believe you are a dark creature yourself and trying to evade the subject…'

The silence dropped like the lid of a stone sarcophagus.

Tonks stood up.

'Leave!'

Garson faced her,

'Why are you hanging around with him? Going for a cheap, quick arrest are you? Bit of a honey trap?'

'Get out before I make you - and you know very well I can, Garson, you've seen me in action. Go and don't come back!'

The young man got up, scratched at his shoulder and picked up his suitcase.

'You'll come to your senses. Unless you're a pervert. See you around…'

He sauntered to the door, and turned around.

'Shut up and go, you creep!' Tonks yelled. Her face was the colour of an aubergine and her hair had taken on lava hues of red, orange, and terracotta as it twined into wild spikes.

Elsa went over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

'Calm down, Tonksie. We're well rid of that one.'

'What a rude young man,' Florina said.

Everyone studiously avoided looking at Remus, who was avoiding looking at Tonks.

'When's the next meet, Tonksie?' Elsa said, lifting her friend's chin.

'March 20th. Same venue. Please bring your copy of Jane Eyre.'

'We'll be here!'

'Looking forward to it!

'Thanks, Tonks, Remus – it was really great.'

They all filed out, uttering encouraging phrases. Florina paused to kiss both Remus and Tonks on the cheek.

Remus was following the others to the door but Elsa pushed him back.

'Don't you think you'd better stay and talk to her?'

He hesitated.

'You are her friend, aren't you?' she insisted.

He nodded.

Tonks was sitting hunched on her chair, snuffling suspiciously.

Remus went over to her and reached out a hand then replaced it in his pocket.

'Um..Tonks? Are you crying? He's not worth it: that sort of thing happens to me all the time. Please don't pay any attention to it.'

She turned her moist, still red face towards him. Her purple eyeshadow had smudged on her cheek and there were thick wedges of mascara around her eyes.

'But it was here – in our group. This lovely group wouldn't have happened without you. He had to come along and ruin everything!'

'He didn't ruin anything. They all had a good time. It was a blip.'

'I want to kill him. He thinks he can talk like that to you…he's not fit to shine your shoes…he's..'

'I'm used to that sort of..'

'You shouldn't be! It's wrong. It's disgusting. You're a kind, wonderful, intelligent. .civilised wizard and everyone should know it!'

Remus reached out and patted her shoulder.

'I'm ok, Tonks – really, It's very kind of you to defend me like that but you mustn't upset yourself. It was a bit much him accusing you of being a pervert because you are willing to befriend me. He does seem rather hot-headed.'

She looked up at him, her dark eyes livid with tears.

'You really just don't get it, do you?'

Remus made a moue.

'What don't I get?'

'I've tried so hard to tell you…to let you know.' Tonks wiped her face with her sleeve.

'Oh, Merlin's beard. Remus…he called me that because he knows I fancy you. All those things I said – tremendously hot…killer smile…that was me, Remus. I think those things. I can't bloody stop thinking them, if you want to know.'

Remus seemed frozen to the spot.

'Oh,' he said. 'I see.'

'So I'm not just 'willing to befriend you', Remus; I'm bloody well in love with you, you daft wolf!'

Remus bit his lip.

'Oh…ok. Um'

'Say something!'

'Well, unpleasant as Mr Butterfield is, he does have a point. Because most wizard s might see any relationship between us as perverse, I'm afraid.'

She stood up, grabbed Remus's hair and pulled him into a fervid and rather wet kiss. At first, he stood rather passive but soon he began to respond and things became rather heated. He pulled away first.

'Look, Tonks; I enjoy your company – you're bright, lovely, funny. I'm…enormously flattered. But you really should be with someone of your own age, someone who is …your equal.'

She saw the blushing, aroused Lupin about to dig his heels in and morphed her eyes to puppy dog format.

'You don't like me, then? '

'Of course I like you. I…am extremely fond of you. But I can't allow you to…

'Throw myself away on an old, unemployed werewolf?'

'Yes. Precisely.'

She ran her hands through his floppy fringe.

'You are a little on the tall side for me. I might strain my neck. But as for the rest, I don't give a niffler's bottom about any of it.'

'Niffler's bottoms fetch quite a price at wizarding auction's in the countryside, I'm told.'

He stroked her hair.

'is that a 'I'm happy so I'm making an arch , ironic joke to hide it,' Lupin joke?'

He sighed and smiled into her eyes.

'You're aren't going to give up, are you?'

Tonks reached in for another snog. Her hair was now a long silky mane of bright pink. Remus sighed into her mouth and wound a skein around his wrist.


End file.
